Left hand of the Martyr
by ibuberu
Summary: You will understand when you are older, Rin. — Rin, Sesshomaru.


**Title** – Left hand of the Martyr  
**Characters** – Sesshomaru, Rin, Jaken, Ah-Un  
**Pairings** – nil  
**Genres** – General, Friendship/Family, Drama  
**Note(s)** – I've always been so transfixed with Sesshy and Rin's relationship, so this is just something small that wandered across my mind one fine day. And no, romance isn't a genre because Rin's still a kid in this, and I've never considered their relationship to be anything other than pure, innocent father-daughtery love. This depicts their journey from start to end in the manga. 

* * *

**Left Hand of the Martyr**  
-

"Lord Sesshomaru, are these for me?" she asked keenly, her voice thick with innocence and purity that only she claimed ownership of. Rin scrutinized the bundle of orange on the soil at her feet, squinting her pebble-brown eyes as she lowered herself onto her knees and resisted the developing urge to touch the soft, new material of the clothes. Something warm was enveloping her heart, and she had almost forgotten the calm, steady beat of the organ, what with her premature death and all. But now, the force of her heart slamming full throttle in her ribcage came with renewed vengeance and nervousness, but most of all, excitement.

The young girl raised her head to look endearingly at the male standing overhead, casting his grand shadow over her birdish and malnutritioned body. The ache of the wolf bites had long faded away, shoved aside to make room for new emotions and sensations that overwhelmed her. She was used to giving kindness and love, but she was unfamiliar with receiving some in turn. It was almost magical. And to a certain extent, it was, because she had not imagined that he would have returned for a child like her, but she was glad all the same. The glare he possessed was not weakened and was as steely as the night they had first greeted each other in the shrubs of the dark forest, her voice mute and his chest drenched with blood.

"Your old ones were getting dirty, child." The demon rolled his eyes, as if it was menial and tiring to even answer the simple question.

"Rin, my name is Rin," she corrected him so bluntly, her eyes never leaving the folded checkers of the cloth as she reached out her scrawny wrists and proceeded to slowly encircle the kimono into her arms. The tiny green toad squealed in panic in the foreground, his tongue hanging out of his gaping mouth as he proceeded to bang his head on the ground and apologize profusely to the white-haired demigod for the girl's utterly inexcusable rudeness and ignorance.

"… Rin…" Sesshomaru repeated absently, his silver eyes pausing on her miniature frame. 

* * *

"Lord Sesshomaru, why do you always fight with Inuyasha and Kagome?" Rin swung her legs gaily as they streamed through the sky, she riding on the Ah-Un's back with Jaken clinging to the hinds and Sesshomaru gliding gracefully through the northern wind. Her hair was untamed, biting and swiping against her cheeks; she had to claw the inky black down into place as she waited for the demon to answer her.

"This Sesshomaru cares not for the human girl, he Is only disconcerted by that low-life," was Sesshomaru's indistinct reply.

"… Oh, I see." She nodded, even though she could not really see. Because Inuyasha and Kagome were nice people, she believed. No one with that motherly look could have been honestly bad intentions, the young girl reasoned, remembering faint inklings of her own family flickering in her vastly emptied mind. She casted her eyes upwards and stood up and tried to touch the clouds. Sesshomaru noticed her from the corner of his eyes, as Jaken proceeded to whine for her to plant her disobedient rear onto the saddle of the dragon.

"You will understand when you are older, Rin." He concluded softly, and left the matter as it stood. 

* * *

"Lord Sesshomaru, why does Naraku do so much evil?" The question drifted in the air over their heads as she plucked abusively at blades of grass littering the general expanse of the flowery field. The lavenders were in full bloom and the mayflowers were dancing in the breeze, the scene was unfitting for the atypical trope of wanderers currently invading it. But still, the ten-year old could not bear to see it drown in flames and ashes under the villainous demon.

"Frankly, I do not care," Sesshomaru admitted from his standing stance, his eyes unfocused and his arm rigid at his side, neither a whit of guilt nor humor evident in his bored voice. They would be permitted to waste a few more minutes in the field before leaving for a more constructive environment. Of course, those five minutes alone were ample for Rin to thread and weave finish two crowns of lavenders for Ah-Un, herself, and one for Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru appreciated the gift by slamming it cordially onto Jaken's tiny head. The little toad croaked feebly in thankfulness as he soothed the bump on his green skull.

And then a few weeks later, her mind drifted shut and someone kidnapped her and held her as a hostage. Or so that was what Jaken told. Being the capable demon he was, Sesshomaru succeeded in retrieving Rin from her captors. And Sesshomaru growled and grew hungry out for Naraku's black blood.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I thought you didn't care about Naraku?" the girl would ask with slight surprise.

"You will understand when you are older, Rin." It was becoming a habit now.

* * *

"Lord Sesshomaru, why have I never seen you asleep?"

"This Sesshomaru must stay awake to guard the camp, Rin. You can't expect that useless Jaken to fend off any demons," he explained briefly, a characteristic vacancy lingering with his words.

"I must agree," she answered most thoughtfully.

"But aren't you lonely? Staying up alone by yourself? Would you like me to accompany you?"

"Loneliness is a pitiful emotion that I do not suffer from," he clarified stoically.

"But Rin would not mind sleeping next to you." The girl balled her hands together in a hopeful manner. And if the demon was insulted, surprised, or perhaps even confused by her suggestion, he certainly decided not to show it. Sesshomaru craned his head slightly, eyeing her in silent contemplation and the exhale of a calm breath.

"Do as you like," he finally said, his voice monotonous and his eyes wandering away to the moon.

So she scurried over to him, nearly tripping over her anxious feet in the process. The demon regarded her with a half-lidded gaze and the naturally stern countenance he usually possessed, inching to the side as she settled comfortably on the cool ground next to him. Sesshomaru turned his head away and stared vaguely through the acres of the woodlands surrounding them. Ah-Un wasn't grumbling as noisily in its sleep tonight, and Jaken was sensibly minding his own business by taking up sleeping quarters on the back of the miniscule dragon. And Sesshomaru supposed that he would have preferred, not _like_, mind you, that nights remain this way. They were peaceful, and that in turn, allowed him to rest. He leaned his head against the pillow of rock and stared up at the stars as Rin buried her head into his inviting and grandiose Momoko.

Sesshomaru knew wishes were beneath him – he would be the maker of his own dreams.

Strike that, he had no dreams. Only destinies.

So the stars were no more than distant suns.

* * *

When life was breathed back into her, she couldn't recall when she exactly died, and how she died for a second time. But Sesshomaru had a hand cupped gingerly to her cheek, and his expression was somewhat keen and relieved – eyes opened an inch bigger than usual, lips tugging upwards but by no means close to a discernable smile. Rin shone with a glow that could have only stemmed from the sensation of joy. He clutched her small shoulder, as if to ensure that she was still in one piece and tangible and essentially there. It would be hard to say goodbye to her, but Sesshomaru chose not to acknowledge that bothersome, ridiculous thought. Neither did he pay his mother attention as she smiled knowingly with a pale hand over her curled lips.

* * *

"Lord Sesshomaru, why are you sad?"

His mouth twitched slightly, almost in a smile. His moonlight hair caught the rays of the setting sun, and framed his immortal face gorgeously, in a fashion that allowed her to faintly see him smile. The way Lord Sesshomaru smiled, with closed, terse lips and no discernable facial features. It was the way his eyes addressed her, and the way his body shifted just slightly, that she was able to pick up the rare smile, out of developed habit.

"… You may understand when you are older, Rin," he whispered in a dulled voice, nothing out of the ordinary, except that he had paused a split second longer than in usual cases. She angled her head to the side and tightened her left hand that was clenching onto his right. It was so hard to come by a chance when his one palm was not resting on Bakusaiga; she had instinctively seized the moment to hold onto his perpetually cold and pallid hand. Her eyes trailed up his towering frame before looking down her own body that was wrapped in the kimono he had presented to her so long ago. It was all dirtied and tattered now, and Rin resisted the urge to break into tears because she knew he wouldn't like that. And this was a parting for them, in a sense, so she couldn't spoil it with her childish irks.

"But Rin thinks she understands now, Lord Sesshomaru." She brought her empty hand up to rub one moist eye.

"That is acceptable," he acknowledged calmly.

The girl grinned loudly at the mighty demon with a full smile and eyes that reflected everything she had intended to express to him. "Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru," she said, her voice would not suffice to fully convey the gravity of her gratitude and love, she knew that, but they were two words she had always been longing to say to him. The tatami of Kaede's hut was warm and inviting and lovely – but none compared to the heat she felt stemming from Sesshomaru's closing hand.

His fingers circled around her hand, and squeezed them abruptly. His mouth remained stubbornly unmoving, but it was because he didn't want words to get in the way of their hermetic world, she knew him well enough to understand that that was his most sincere way of delivering his feelings soundly. And Rin decided that it was finally time to let go of him, because he had things to do elsewhere – and he would definitely be back to visit, would he not? Lord Sesshomaru was godly and powerful like that.

Her hands danced out of his, and Rin almost imagined that he had been hesitant to let go. 

* * *

**end.**


End file.
